


He won't love you.

by probablygay



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Blood, Eating Disorders, Ehehe, Hammertime - Freeform, JUST ATTEMPTED he doesnt succeed, M/M, Pepsicola, Sadstuck, Self Harm, attempted suicide, brief bro strider appearances, davejohn - Freeform, daves a bottom tho, fuck this is actually really sad, ill tag it when i get to it, johndave - Freeform, lots of blood and self harm in the first chapter, mention daverezi, mentioned johnvris, really angsty shit, there will be porn so hold up, unrequited feelings, yea there is porn in this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 08:26:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2421884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/probablygay/pseuds/probablygay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Your name is Dave Strider, and sometimes you have to wonder what terrible thing you did in a past life to be stuck in love with your horribly oblivious and painfully straight best friend.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> BUCKLE UP THIS IS GONNA BE REALLY GAY AND REALLY SAD.  
> Also this is the first chapter of many  
> I've got the plot planned out in my head and there's a lot of it

Your name is Dave Strider and you aren't sure where the razor blade that was in your hand went. You can't see it in the bottom of the tub, the water is too clouded with blood and you feel too sluggish to try to find it anyway.

 

Your name is Dave Strider and you gave up. You gave up on trying.

 

Your name is Dave Strider, and sometimes you have to wonder what terrible thing you did in a past life to be stuck in love with your horribly oblivious and painfully straight best friend.

You find yourself thinking almost daily about him, thinking about what it would be like if he loved you as much as you love him. But, he won't. He won't love you. He'll love some horrid girl who won't treat him right, she'll twist his heart and tear it into pieces and he'll tell you how much he loves her anyway. She'll take up all his time, and he'll forget you even exist for weeks straight. It'll tear you apart. When he finally talks to you it's to tell you about how well his date went and how much he really likes this girl.

It didn't start really affecting you until Sophomore year, when you discovered how good letting your stress escape through your skin with the help of a razor blade was. Scars piled up, nobody noticed though. Nobody noticed when you started wearing long sleeved shirts and jackets, even in the summer. Nobody noticed when your grades dropped, it's not like your brother really gave a shit about how your education. Nobody noticed when Vriska Serket, John's current girlfriend, told you that John hated you and that you weren't needed anymore. Nobody noticed the tears streaming down your face as you rode the bus ride home. Nobody noticed as you slipped into your apartment, checked to make sure your brother was sleeping, and ran yourself a hot bath with a razor in your hand. 

You were 17 years old, halfway through your Junior year of high school, when you tried to end your life. 

You were fading away, feeling tired and almost blissful despite the deep aching from your thighs and wrists. You closed your eyes, smiling softly. Your calm was broken by a sharp noise. Was that a scream? It sounded like a scream. When you opened your eyes and lulled your head to the side, you never could've guessed who would be standing at the door with one of your tee shirts over his shoulder and a gallon of apple juice dropped at his feet. 

 

The last thing you remember is wondering why you didn't lock the bathroom door before passing out.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Your name is John Egbert and you're an idiot.

At least that's what you think when you realize you haven't talked to Dave in a week. You were sitting in your bed when you glanced off to the side, seeing Dave's shirt. He left it in your room last time he was there... A week ago. You haven't had time to talk to him since he left. Crap. It's hard to juggle school, your girlfriend, and your best friend all at the same time. You ended up accidentally abandoning him for the other two. You almost abandoned schoolwork as well, and Vriska would've loved it if you did. She always wanted your full attention on her, 24/7. If you seemed distracted when you were supposed to be doting on her, you got a sharp insult and a scalding laugh. We all have our flaws, though, right?

You sigh, getting up out of bed and grabbing the shirt. You duck out the door of your house minutes later, yelling something to your dad about going to see Dave.

On your way, you pick up a gallon of apple juice from the grocery store, just because you have a few extra bucks and Dave deserves it after putting up with your bullshit. You move quickly to your best friend's apartment building, and you wonder silently as you jog up the stairs to his 5th floor apartment why this place hasn't fixed the elevator yet. You open the door without knocking, you haven't knocked before entering the Strider apartment since freshman year. You practically live there sometimes, in all honesty, and Dave's brother treats you like another brother. That's a nice feeling.  
You walk down the hall, but a sight in a doorway you pass makes you stop. You feel like you can't breathe as your eyes take in your best friend in the entire world in a bathtub full of red water, looking paler than he usually did. The apple juice bottle in your hands drops to the floor, and you can hear a loud horrified scream escaping your lips. You don't think, you couldn't if you tried, as you rush to the bathtub and drag him out, screaming for his brother to come help. Dave's out cold, still on the cold tile as blood leaks slowly from his wounds.  
You can hardly see through the tears in your eyes. Bro's calling an ambulance on his cell phone next to you as you sob over your dying friend. When did he even get there? He's pulling a pair of loose boxers onto Dave so that he isn't indecent when the paramedics took him.   
Soon they were there and taking Dave away, tearing him from your arms. You rush with Bro down the stairs and to his car, his hand is on your arm and guiding you so you don't ram into anything in your tear-masked vision.   
You're at the hospital not long after the ambulance is. 

They make you wait in the waiting room and let Bro through since he's family and you aren't.

You sob your eyes out for hours and hope to God this is just a nightmare. 

Your best friend just tried to kill himself, and you had no idea he was even depressed. You had no clue. You feel like the biggest idiot and the worst best friend.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LOUD SCREAMING AS I DESCEND FROM THE CLOUDS   
> SORRY FOR THE WAIT

Your name is Dave Strider again and you don't know where you are when you open your eyes. The light in the room is harsh and it smells like disinfectant and your body aches.

You panic and try to sit up, only to be met with sharp pain in your arms and thighs, a throbbing pain in your head, and a firm hand on your chest slowly pushing you back down. "Woah there, li'l man. Calm down and lay back, you're okay now." You hear your brother's voice next to you, and you flip your head to the side fast enough to make the room spin. 

You feel like you're going to be sick. So, you tell him that. Suddenly, there's a light pink plastic container under your chin and you're throwing up into it. 

Then you realize where you are. 

You're in the hospital.

You tried to kill yourself and you failed. 

There's tears flowing down your face and you can't stop them and now you're shaking in heavy sobs. Warm arms are wrapping around you and you hear your brother trying to sooth you. You've never heard him sound so scared. He's showing emotion, he's cracking, and it's all your fault. 

"What happened, li'l man? What made you... Do that?" His voice is soft and sad as he mumbles against your shoulder, and you wonder if he's about to start crying along with you. "Was it something I did? I know I'm not the best guardian, but... I'll be around more, if that's what you need. I'm sorry, Dave, I'm sorry I'm never there for you."

Your eyes widen and you pull back to look at him. He thought it was his fault? No.. No. It wasn't him. He didn't do anything wrong. He never did anything wrong, he's _Bro_ , for fuck sake. He never does anything wrong. "Wasn't your fault... You didn't do anything wrong, I promise. Not your fault." You mutter against his shoulder, trying not to break into more sobs. 

He's silent for a moment more before he asks why it happened, what made you want to kill yourself. You can't keep it a secret anymore, you can't lie to him and say you're okay this time. You metaphorically(Although you feel like you're gonna do it literally) spill your guts. You tell him about the depression, about John, about what Vriska said to you. Every word feels like blood dripping off your tongue, it's nauseating. He asks you if John knows about all this. You quickly shake your head, pausing after you realize how dizzy that motion makes you. John can't find out, he can't know. John... Wait, wasn't John standing in the doorway when you passed out? "Where's John?" You ask, panic evident in your voice.

"Waiting room, they wouldn't let him back here 'til ya woke up. I can go get him... Y'know, only if you want." Bro isn't even trying to mask his worry, his face is twisted with an unusual frown. His shades.. Where were his shades? Why wasn't he wearing them? It was a rare occasion that you could see his brother's eyes, and... "Do you want him to come in here n' talk to you?" Bro's voice snaps you out of your thoughts, making you shake your head.

"Tell him to go home, Bro. Please."

"Aiight, li'l man, whatever you say."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it was shitty yea and it was short but the next chapter is gonna be all john and theres gonna be tears so many tears


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whoop here it is

Your name is John Egbert, and you have no clue how long you've been waiting in this room. There are crying children, panicking mothers, and pacing fathers. You never thought you'd ever be able to tune so many noises out without even trying. Your heart is pounding in your ears, and you've been crying so hard for so long that the tears won't come out anymore. 

When you look up at the clock, you find it's been four hours since you arrived. 

Still no word from Dave or Bro. 

The clock that you're watching is about to hit the five hour mark when Dave's brother emerges. You jump up from your seat, mind reeling with questions. _Is Dave okay? Is he awake? Can I see him yet?_ Just as you open your mouth to ask, he speaks up. "Go home, kid."

You stand there and blink at him, trying to figure out what he just said to you. Go home? Why would you do _that_ ? Dave's still here, you aren't going home.

"W-what?" That's all you can say in response. It's your plea for an explanation, you're begging for him to tell you what's going on.

"You can go home. Dave woke up, he told me to tell you to go home. So, here I am. Go home." He sounds emotionless, but there's a hoarse quality in his voice. He's been crying. Bro _cries_ ? Woah, okay um... _What?_

"I'm not going home. Can I go see him?" You're firmer in your words than you think you've ever been with him, and for a split second you can see his surprise. It's gone as soon as it came, though. He's shaking his head, and you don't want to hear his answer.

"No, kid. I-"

"Why the _fuck_ not?" This time the surprise on his face lingers a little longer. You register that before you realize that you had just _yelled_ your last four words. You're embarrassed for a moment, but you regain yourself and pull Dave's brother off to the side. "Take me to see him."

"But h-"

"Dirk fucking Strider, I want to make sure my best friend is okay. I need to know he's okay, I need to make him okay. Take me to see him. Now." That was the first time you had ever used his real name, and he sputters for a response for a bit before regaining himself and sighing.

"... Okay, alright, just... Don't blame me if he's pissed, aiight?" 

You nod, and he leads you down the hall. You feel like you pass a hundred doors before you reach the one he stops and opens. The first thing you see is an IV rack, and your eyes follow the tubes to a pale form in a hospital bed. 

You realize after a split second that it's Dave. Dave's staring at you with wide blood-shot eyes. He speaks, and you realize after a moment that he's asking why you're still here.

"I'm not leaving. Not until I know you're better."

"Well, I'm stuck here for like a week or two more, so you might be here a while." Bitter, why is his voice so bitter? "But, hey, at least you'll be acknowledging my existence." Oh. That's what it was about.

"Dave..." You step closer to his bed wearily. "I don't... What was this about, was it because I...?"

"Yeah. Well, kinda. That and so much more." There's more hurt in his voice than you ever thought you'd hear from him. He glances at his brother behind you, and kinda gives him a signal that you guess means _Can you leave us alone for a little while?_ because then Bro is gone and the door is shut and he's speaking again. "Okay, John, I really hope this doesn't royally fuck up our friendship, although I'm pretty damn sure it will, but here goes nothing." What is he _talking_ about? "I like you." Oh. "A lot. I could pretty much say I love you if I was honest with myself, but what seventeen year old knows shit about love?" _Oh._ "And, you just... Ignored me, and it hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt even more when you didn't notice. Dude, I've wanted you to like me since seventh grade. I've wanted you to look at me like you've looked at all those girls since we were _twelve_." You feel like you're going to throw up. Or pass out. Or both. "I wanted to die because I thought it would be better than not being able to think about anyone the way I've thought about you."

You stare at him drop-jawed for a good minute before you speak again. "What about Terezi..?" And you immediately _know_ you shouldn't have said that because he _flinches._

"That was an experiment, and... A mistake. And now she hates me."

Oh.

Oh, _fuck._

"Dave, I-"

"Yeah?" There's a hopeful look on his face, and _oh god,_ he's hoping you're about to say you feel the same about him.

You don't. You _can't._

"I... I gotta go. I'm so sorry. I'm so fucking sorry." Your voice cracks and you turn around before you can see his expression fall, because you know it does. "I'm... Dave, I don't like guys, and I... I'm so sorry."

Your name is John Egbert, and you just ran out the door of your best friend's hospital room, and you can hear him sobbing from down the hall. You can hear his brother consoling him. You're pretty sure what he just told you is going to be burned into your brain forever.

Your name is John Egbert, and it's your fault Dave Strider wants to die. 

So you don't turn back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FUCK


	4. Chapter 4

It's been three weeks since you confessed to John Egbert that you've liked him for five years.

It's been three weeks since he's said a word to you.

You've been back at school for a week, and nobody but the teachers have talked to you. They laugh, though. They giggle and whisper. Especially Vriska and her friends. It hurts so bad.

You've seen John look at you, but he quickly looks away. He doesn't care. That hurts even worse.

You haven't eaten a full meal in three days. You've had a couple of chips every now and then, a bottle of juice sometimes. The stress has been making it so you can't stomach very much without throwing up. Bro's worried about you, but you insist you're fine. You convince yourself you're fine, too, even though hunger pangs are a thing and they hurt like hell.

Three days turn into four. Four days turn into a week. You're surviving well enough on Doritos and juice, but... You're losing focus. You're also losing weight. You thought you were too skinny before, but now you can count your ribs in the mirror without straining at all. You're starting to get scared, but you don't say anything. Nobody but Bro mentions it, because nobody but Bro talks to you or even cares anymore.

Not until you collapse on the sidewalk on your way home from school. It's been two weeks and three days since your last full meal, but who's counting. Somebody stops to check on you, or at least you think so when you hear brakes screech. Someone's picking you up, and you feel like a ragdoll. You're about as heavy as one, too. You recognize the voice, so you focus in on the face. Is that...? _Oh god_ , it's Dadbert. John's dad. He's carrying you to his car, and you can hear him saying something about taking you to the hospital, and you hear another voice that you recognize as you're gently placed in the back seat. It's John. He looks horrified. Your heart swells painfully in your chest, and you can feel the tears sliding down your cheeks. He's apologizing. He's... He's apologizing. 

You black out sometime on the ride there, you think, because soon you're being carried into the ER. But it's not Dadbert this time. It's... It's John. John's carrying you in, holding you close to his chest. It feels amazing, he's holding you protectively and you just want to stay there forever with him. But, soon his arms are gone, and you're surrounded by nurses. 

Hours pass until you're conscious again. Bro's there, he's arguing outside the door with someone. "This is your fucking fault, kid. He doesn't need you here, you need to leave." He growls, more angry than you've seen him in a long time. Who's he talking to?

"He's my best friend, I'm not leaving." Oh. 

That's _John_.

John's here. 

And he still cares.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

It's been three weeks since you ran out of Dave Strider's hospital room, and your heart still hurts.

You've seen him around school for about a week, but you can't talk to him. Not after what you've done to him.

Vriska starts making jokes about him, and it starts making you really uncomfortable.

Eventually, you snap and break up with her. She seems upset, but tells you she didn't need you anyway. You could care less.

Three weeks pass since he came back to school, five weeks since you've last spoken. You're in the passenger seat of your dad's car when you see a blonde figure collapse on the sidewalk. Your heart stops, and you scream for the car to stop with it. "That's Dave, oh god, that's _Dave. Dad, Dave just collapsed on the side of the fucking road._ "

Your dad is running out of the car, crouching down, picking Dave up like he weighs nothing. He looks gaunt and sickly and pale.. What have you done?

Dad doesn't bother parking when you get to the ER, he just stops in front of the doors and you get out and carry Dave in, holding him close to your chest like that'll keep him safe and alive. Maybe it will. You pass him off to the nurses, and one of them tells you they'll make sure he's okay. 

When your heart swells with hope, that's when a realization hits you.

That's all you want. You want him to be okay, you want him to be safe. You want to hold him together and be there for him, because you _love_ him.

You wait in a chair outside of his hospital room for hours, and eventually his brother is there, but he's different from you remember him. 

He's _angry._

"What the fuck are you still here for?" He doesn't hide it, the anger seething in his voice. 

"I'm... Waiting for Dave to wake up? I brought him here, so..." You frown, standing. 

"He doesn't need you here." What?

"What the hell do you mean?" Now the anger is starting to show in your voice. 

"This is your fucking fault, kid. He doesn't need you here, you need to leave." Fuck that. That's a line crossed.

"He's my best friend, I'm not leaving." You reply, cool as a cucumber even though what he said left your blood boiling.

You hear a voice croak from the room, calling your name. Dave's awake. You glance at Bro, he glares at you, but doesn't say anything, so you rush in. Dave's holding his arms out for you, so you wrap yours around his frail body and hold him, mumbling apologies into his hair.

Your name is John Egbert, and you may have fucked up, but you'll fix it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> god damn things seem to be looking up for my gays dont they

This trip to the hospital took a little longer than the last, they had to make sure you had proper nutrition. They had to organize regular therapist visits for you so they could keep an eye on you. Every week, Tuesday at 4pm. You smiled and nodded when you were told that, though. No sullen sadness like last time.

You couldn't possibly be sad.

Your best friend has been here the whole time, joking and laughing and acting like there was nothing wrong at all. 

Three weeks and four days after you collapsed on the pavement walking home, you leave the hospital. You feel awesome, laughing with John as you walk out to your brother's car. Bro seems a little irked when John slides into the back seat of the car, but he doesn't say anything. "We're gonna chill at the apartment, that cool with you, Bro?" You ask, still smiling. Bro seems to soften up when he sees the smile, nodding an affirmative and driving out of the hospital parking lot.

John's phone dings, he pulls it out and sighs but doesn't answer it. You don't think much of it. 

It dings again.

And again.

"Jesus fuck, Egbert, girlfriend blowing your phone up?" You tease, glancing at his phone. 

"Yeah.. Well, she's not my girlfriend. Hasn't been in a while." Woah, what? That's new. 

"Since when?"

"Since she wouldn't stop talking shit about you." He seemed bitter with the memory. You had to hold back a smile, that wouldn't be a good thing to do at the time.

The rest of the car ride was pretty quiet. It wasn't a bad quiet, though. Bro even seemed to be less tense. Well, it was pretty quiet until John piped up from the back seat.

"Will you quit calling me?! No. No! Yes, I'm- No, we're not! Fuck off. Fuck off!" He threw his phone down on the car seat next to him, groaning. 

"Girl problems, kid?" Bro's voice broke the awkward that followed John's yelling into his phone.

"She's a bitch. Why did I ever like her?" You had been asking yourself the same thing. 

"Dunno man." That was the only thing you said, and it was the last thing that was said for the whole car ride. 

You arrive back at the apartment soon, and you two go up in your room and play video games. 

And all was how it used to be. 

Except for one small detail. 

You still love him.


	6. Chapter 6

You go to Dave's house every day after school now. You guys play video games and watch movies and sometimes you cuddle, but it's only platonic bro cuddles because you haven't worked up the nerve to tell Dave his feelings aren't unrequited. 

Maybe at this point he doesn't even like you anymore. You get sad when that thought pops into your head, but you guess he's better off that way. It's your fault this all happened to him, anyway. 

As the days pass, Vriska stops calling and texting you. It's a relief, in all honesty. She's more of a bitter bitch than you ever would have expected. You're glad you broke up with her. 

As the days pass, you and Dave spend more and more time together, sometimes spending days on end staying at each other's houses. You've both got tons of each other's clothes and stuff just for that reason. Bro doesn't seem to hate you anymore. Things are good again. 

As the days pass, you start to realize how much of Dave you've grown to love. His sense of humour is cryptic yet oddly endearing, the way he acts around people he doesn't know makes you laugh because you know that's not how he really is, his smile gives you butterflies because you know you're one of the only people who sees it. Sometimes you wonder if this is what love feels like, but you don't know. What does a seventeen year old boy know about love?

You couldn't tell him, he'd be upset. What if he thought you were using him as a rebound, or just lying to him to make him feel better? Not good. You know you'd never do that to him, you care about him too much. You're pretty sure you love him, and you're pretty sure you should've realized this a lot sooner. 

On one particular evening, when you're laying with him and his head is tucked under your chin and your legs are tangled together, a comfortable silence floating around you, your feelings flow up to your throat and now's as good a time as any to tell him. "I love you." The words come out smoothly and you're pretty sure it's the most truthful thing you've ever said. 

He lifts his head up and stares at you, silent. His shades are off and his ruby eyes are peircing your light blue ones and you just want him to say something before you get sick from nerves. "Yeah?" That's all he says. 

"Like... More than bro love, I think. I think I actually for real love you, full homo."

"Do you?" The way he's responding so casually makes you nervous, but you can tell he's freaking out just as much by the way he's chewing his lip. 

"Yeah... I totally just fucked up, didn't I? I should go." You try to slip out from under him and away, but he holds you tighter.

"Wait-" He takes a deep breath, and now it's your turn to stare silently. "I love you too." The words hang in the air for a moment, and you're not sure what to do for a moment.

So, you kiss him. 

Slow and sweet, careful and cautious. He doesn't kiss back for a second, but when he does his hand slips up to cup your cheek and one of yours rests on the curve of his lower back, and it's amazing. You've never had a kiss like this, you feel like there's sparks of electricity between your lips and you feel like he pulls away all too soon. But, he's smiling. He's smiling wider than you've ever seen before and your heart skips a beat when you realize you've made him happy, you made Dave Strider happy. 

"Wow.." That's all you say, a gentle smile on your own lips. 

He tucks his head under your chin again, and you can feel him smiling still against your collarbone. You just kissed Dave Strider, you just made him smile, and you're about to do one more big thing tonight that's been eating away at you. "Dave..." Your voice is soft and sweet, without doubt or hesitation. "Will you go out with me?"

He's silent for a moment and you panic for a split second with the thought of rejection. He looks up at you, and your lips meet again. When he pulled away, there's another smile on his face. "Yeah. Yeah, I will. Thanks for finally asking." He laughs a little, probably because you're smiling like an idiot. 

"I'm gonna take you on so many dates. So many. You're going to be so pampered, Dave. So many dates." 

"Rad, babe." You're pretty sure your heart is gonna beat out of your chest, and you're positive of it when he kisses you again. "But, for now we're just gonna cuddle here and wait for Bro to bring home takeout."

You nod, still grinning. You're officially Dave Strider's boyfriend, and there's nothing you could be happier about.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Your name is Dave Strider, and you don't think you've ever been happier in life. Days turn into weeks and weeks turn into months, and before you know it, it's your three month anniversary with John. You're one of the annoying couples that celebrates monthiversaries, and you love it. 

John gives you a big teddy bear. 

Vriska Serket gives you a dirty look and flips you the bird. You laugh in her face. 

Laughing in her face was a mistake, you find that out later, when a large fist connects with your jaw. And another one. And another. A few guys are around you, jeering and calling names, pushing you around and letting you know that nobody wrongs Vriska and gets away with it. 

A fist hits your eye and you're pretty sure you're gonna be covered in gnarly bruises. Another fist hits your stomach and you hit the ground, gasping for breath. Kicks are landed to your body, and you're seeing stars and begging them to stop. They do eventually stop, but not by their own accord. 

You look up to see John. John's kicking ass. He's punching and kicking and before you know it, three guys are on the ground and none of them are your boyfriend. He picks you up and holds you close to his chest, just like he did when he carried you into the ER when you collapsed. He's shaking, why is he shaking? Oh, John's crying. You look up at him, face battered but not broken. You can feel the flesh around your right eye starting to swell up, and your body aches but you can't bring yourself to care.

You just want John to stop crying. You wipe away his tears and he looks at you, worry on his face. "I'm okay, babe. Please don't cry."

"But they hurt you, you got hurt and I wasn't here to help, I-" You stop him by placing one finger over his lips, and he just stares at you with wide baby blue eyes. 

"It's okay. I'm not broken, I've gotten the shit kicked out of me before. I strife with Bro, remember?" You smile, and it's crooked due to your swelling face, but he softens up. He always seems to relax when you smile. 

"Let's just take you home and get some ice on your bruises." He picks you up, and you consider complaining for a moment before realizing it probably makes him feel better. 

"Alright, babe. Sounds like a plan."

He takes you home, and with a little help from a surprisingly worried Bro, you're all iced and bandaged up quickly. 

John holds you and you two watch a movie and cuddle, sneaking little kisses every now and then. It's sweet, happy. Your teeth catch his lip at one point and he gasps, melting underneath you. You snort a little, making mental note of that. 

You know, for future use.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY I JUST WANNA SAY  
> I love you guys  
> I get so much support here and this is my first fic and I'm bawling like a big idiot because I'm so happy   
> There isn't much angst left to come, I don't think.   
> There is smut tho  
> Lots of smut


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HERE COMES THE SMUT

It's been seven months in total with Dave, and you're positive at this point that you're in love with him. You're absolutely head over heels for Dave Strider. You're in love with his smile, you're in love with his laugh, you're in love with the way he gets shy when he's flustered... You do the same, though. 

You two haven't gotten much farther than making out... Dave's slipped into your lap a few times, and in one really hot make out session, your shirt came off. That ended up getting real awkward real quick, since he still doesn't like taking his clothes off around you... He says he doesn't want you to see his scars.

But, it's your seven-monthiversary and you're sitting on Dave's bed with his thin frame in your lap, and his lips are on yours, your tongues are tangled together, and suddenly, he's pulling back? Oh. He's taking his shirt off.. He seems shy and tense, but you gently lift one of his arms up and kiss his wrist before doing the same to the other. He melts against you at that, and you slip your shirt off as well. He's kissing you again, deeper and more passionate than usual. His chest is pressed to yours, and you can feel his skin warming up and yours does as well.

His hips shift a bit against yours. 

You _groan_ into his mouth.

He pulls back quickly, his face bright red. "I-I'm sorry.. Should I not do that? I can stop-" He's interrupted by your finger on his lips.

"Dave," You mumble. "Can I, uh.. Can I take your pants off?"

\----------------------------------------------------------------

Things are getting pretty hot and heavy with John, after seven months of being scared of opening up that much. 

The way he kisses your scars erased all that fear. What were you ever afraid of?

You're worried you made him uncomfortable when he groans, but he quickly remedies that.

"Dave, can I, uh.. Can I take your pants off?" Your face reddens even more at that.

You nod, letting him unbutton your pants and slipping out of his lap to pull them down and kick them off. You're wearing nothing but your boxers in front of him.

He looks you up and down, chewing his lip. "Dave... I wanna kiss all your scars. Every last one of them... Can I?"

You nod, smiling a little. "Take your pants off too, dork. I don't wanna be the only one half naked." 

He chuckles, standing up and taking his pants off. "Lay down, babe. I'm totally gonna kiss every mark." You nod and do as he say, and he crawls over you, doing as he said he would. He starts at your arms, kissing all over them. He moves to your thighs, kissing all of the exposed marks.

"There's more.. Under my boxers.. I-if you wanna take those off..." You hide your red face, but you can practically sense him smiling as he pulls your boxers down a bit. You lift your hips to allow him to pull them down and off.

You're fully hard by the time he's kissing the last few scars on your inner thighs. At this point, every kiss to the sensitive skin brings a soft sound from your lips. A genuine moan leaves you as he licks a strip up your inner thigh. You can feel him smile against your skin. "John-" You mumble, but he interrupts. 

"Can I suck you off, Dave?" He asks, and you cover your face and nod quickly. Then his lips are on the sensitive tip of your erection, and you gasp, looking down at him. You can't imagine letting anybody but him do this.

\--------------------------------------------------------

Your own erection rubs against the bed as you taste Dave's. He's making the cutest noises as you take more of him into your mouth, little keens and soft moans. He lets out a gorgeous, loud moan when you flick your tongue experimentally against the underside, bringing out a groan of your own. 

"John, I-I wanna touch you.. Please..." He begs, and your mouth is off him, leaving a trail of kisses up his torso, biting his neck softly before kissing him deeply. He pulls your boxers off and you kick them away, and soon his hand is wrapped around both your lengths, using your leftover saliva as lubricant to stroke quickly. You moan, bringing your hand down to assist him. He moans your name and you _shudder_ , bucking your hips gently. He does the same, and you two are soon basically humping each other's hands and moaning into each other's mouths. 

"Dave, I-I'm really close to c-cumming.." You mumble as pleasure coils up in your core.

"J-John-" Dave gasps as he releases all over his stomach with a breathy moan. You're over the edge moments later, adding to the mess on him. 

You plop down next to him, panting. He curls up with you and you pull the blanket over the two of you.

You're both blissfully asleep moments later.


End file.
